Looking at ADHD differently, part 7

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I, Woolly, stand outside against the large silver double decker bus that we call home. I'm wearing black and the early evening light hits my face, highlighting all of my wrinkles. I'm sporting a smirk as a colourful pile of my hand-knit Hats are balanced on my head.

Here's the next post in my series for #ADHDAwareness month where I try and look at the condition I live with through the lens of my work.

As we've mentioned before, thoughts and ideas travel at lightning speed within an ADHD brain. We'll make a decision then act on it in the blink of an eye. Which no doubt seems contradictory to the need to allow us processing time when something unexpected crops up.

The problem is is that we can't control what gets processed, when or how. And that leads folks to doubt and not trust us. But you need to remember that our brains are literally different to yours.

One way to look at it is that we run on a completely different operating system. Our brain's motherboard has an unknown processor and there's a shortage of RAM. Some stuff happens as if by magic, other stuff just doesn't happen at all.

This lack of trust often develops because we'll work something out super quick or know what needs to be done, but we can't always explain how we know. Society places value on using accepted methods because it expects to see linear steps to validate an outcome. An ADHD brain doesn't work that way.

When I'm designing I'll often rework various aspects over and over until they feel right. If pushed I could probably tell you what's wrong but I'll be unlikely to explain exactly what I'm aiming for.

I've had so many lovely messages over the years from folks who've knit my patterns, delighted at the way the maths shines or the poetic way the different elements interact. For a long time I thought myself a fraud as these weren't things I'd particularly paid attention to.

Slowly I started to realise that it wasn't all fluke, that there was method in my madness, and that I produced my best work when I was free of others' expectations. The issue of me not explaining why I'd done a specific thing in a certain way was only a problem to those who felt I should explain. Then I noticed an overlap between those who expected an explanation and those who didn't trust me.

I can't put words to every neuropathway in my brain! And honestly, we shouldn't be expected to to be believed, be considered worthy or valid. I used to think what I did was intuitive or serendipitous; now I know it's my neurodivergences. Either way there is no right or wrong way.

As the saying goes, the proof is in the pudding.