This time we decided to try taking some photos of me without a wig wearing Nettare - just me and my uber short thin grey hair - to see how they looked.

And you know what? I’m pretty OK with them! Considering how uncomfortable the camera has always made me, the panic attacks that have followed whenever I’ve tried to model, I reckon I’m doing OK. No panic attacks at all, only some mild anxiety and overwhelm from all the positive comments on Instagram and Twitter.

Which is seriously good going! Testament to the power of having the right diagnoses - ADHD and Autism - and to intensive EMDR therapy, courtesy of everyone’s support via the GFM campaign Tom set up.

The comments and feedback I received which were the most helpful were those saying they were on the fence about buying the pattern, but seeing me in the photos, someone who looks more like themselves, swung it. And that’s my aim.

I’ve been slowly working away at trying to use a wider range of models, this is something I’ve talked about before. But it’s not always easy, and trying to find older models - who weren’t me! - has proved tricky. Especially models with natural grey hair. I’ve been gifted a human hair wig which I’m in the process of bleaching then dyeing, which will give me the option of modelling with longer grey hair. It won’t be as glam and therefore as visually dominating as the cheap wig I tried before, which to me is a step in the right direction. It’ll look more real, being human hair, and it was free, except for the bleach and dye, so it’s very much worth a try.

But I still wasn’t comfortable with myself and my short hair. The wig places a little bit of distance between me as myself and the person in the photo. And yet, somehow, I took the plunge and took myself way out of my comfort zone and I’m doing reasonably OK. In fact, we’re thinking to try some more, in different environments.

Photoshoots can be expensive and time consuming. We’re fortunate enough to have a few good environments and locations nearby that we can use for free. Yet I still pay my models for their time, so they’re not free. More importantly, arranging photoshoots takes an awful lot of brain space - asking if someone’s available, arranging a date with them, arranging a location - then the make-up and hair discussions and more. That’s before any editing or photo selecting.

When we’ve a shoot arranged I can’t think or do much else for a few days before and after it, which impacts everything else. I get less creative time but more importantly I lose the flow of whatever I’m working on - hello, neurodivergent brain - which can take time to recover from but is also incredibly stressful. If we can work more with myself, Tom and Aran as models it’ll improve my work-flow as well as add us to the range of models. I won’t stop working with other models, on the contrary, but it does mean we can focus more on larger shoots with them and justify the time and money spent better.

Anyways! Went off on a bit of a tangent there. I came here to share the photos and also remind folks that the 15% discount on this pattern ends tomorrow night, 5th November 2022. Use code code SweetNectar here, and in my Ravelry, Etsy and Payhip stores.

Ravelry and Etsy both provide direct links with the coupon applied:

Ravelry: https://www.ravelry.com/redeem/woolly-wormhead?code=SweetNectar
Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/WoollyWormheadHats?coupon=SWEETNECTAR

Hope you enjoy the pattern, I’m looking forward to seeing what you make with it!