The photograph shows me, sitting in my studio knitting, whilst looking elsewhere, distracted by something or talking to someone. It's an older video still from the #FruityKnitting footage we recorded. I wear black and grey and instead of henna, my hair sports a turquoise quiff against my shaved grey hair. The knitting is gorgeous hand-spun in deep reds and black, which went on to become the #WWHandspunHat sample.
Here's the next post in my series for #ADHDAwareness month where I try and look at the condition I live with through the lens of my work.
Whilst most ADHD folk may not be the externally hyperactive type, the hyperactivity instead firmly in our brains, restlessness is still very much a thing. After all, our brains and bodies aren't separate - one impacts the other.
Us ADHD folk fidget. We flick our fingers, tap our feet, twiddle our hair. We do it as a way to help with processing and concentration. It's a self-regulation method.
The more we need to concentrate on a task, the more we need to fidget. Especially if it's boring, which everything is unless we're interested in it. If we've a lot to process i.e. unexpected news or plan changes, a truck-load of information dumped in one go, or something personal or of great magnitude, we'll tend to fidget.
This is one area where our disability needs are poorly accommodated by society as a whole. We're told to sit still and concentrate. To pay attention, not fiddle. We're not allowed to do something else while we're doing the thing expected of us because you can't comprehend that we need to do more than one thing at a time. Society labels us rude.
Let's look at it another way. When we face boredom our brains create distraction. When we face a processing jam our brains are there, honking the horn.
By fidgeting we distract the distractor. We give it something else to do. Regulation can then kick in.
When I need to write up a pattern I'll have my knitting to hand and a TV series I've watched umpteen times playing. It doesn't distract me because I've heard it all before already. But it provides comfort and the right level of white noise to replace the white noise my brain will create.
If I need to watch or listen for periods of time, you can bet I've got my knitting to hand. The subtle, repetitive movement helps me to listen and pay attention.
Knitting is my fidget aid. I take it everywhere with me, just in case. As you may have started to realise by now, it's no accident that I design and knit as many Hats as I do.
Do us a favour? Let the ADHD folk in your life fidget. It's not rude for us to keep our fingers busy while we talk, or to fiddle while we eat our dinner. If we're not allowed to we invariably find something else to do and then we'll be labelled disruptive.
The photo shows me sitting in my studio, wearing black, holding up the Ruschia design to the camera. The Hat is silver grey and features a repeat of tapering horizontal lines across garter stitch. I’m caught mid-sentence whilst discussing sideways slouch Hats.
This is the 4th post in my series for ADHD Awareness Month, where I look through the lens of my work to try and raise awareness about ADHD from a different perspective.
The non-linear thinking aspect of ADHD makes me a master at off-tangent rambles. Because so many connections are made at lightning speeds within an ADHD brain, it's hard to focus thoughts and channel them into cohesive words and sentences. This also causes us to forget what we've said or intend to say on a scarily frequent basis.
This is why one of our accessibility needs is to receive information in clear, detailed and succinct formats.
If something isn't fully explained, our brains try to fill in the gaps, and there's a world of possibilities as to what should be in the gaps. If the information is too long, or not well edited or ordered, we can lose focus and drift.
And if it's not broken down clearly, with paragraph breaks or bullet-points, we'll miss details or take so long trying to understand because we'll be processing the information as a whole, causing a bottleneck in our brains.
#ADHD is a cognitive disability.
When we design, we instinctively design to our own needs. So though I may be a master at off-tangent rambling, in the same way that sideways knit Hats reflect so many of my ADHD needs, so it is with my approach to pattern writing.
If a design I'm working on has a loose end that's not easily explained or there's an aspect that leaves room for misinterpretation, the design will be changed or even abandoned.
Repeats will be neatly ordered, I see my patterns as executable code. I aim for logical and memorable instructions, and if different sizes require different instructions then there'll be a tangible relationship between them.
The instructions, and thus the components of the Hat, are broken down into short distinct tasks. Each part is either a clearly defined whole OR clearly connected to the next part. Either way, they'll stay true to the internal mathematical structure. You may not see my logic if I've thrown in something unexpected, but it'll be there.
What I'm trying to say is that it's not just that my pattern writing is ADHD friendly, the designs themselves are.
I believe this may be why so many of you enjoy knitting my patterns. As #UniversalDesign suggests, if something is accessible to one group, it'll be of benefit to others too.
The image shows me sitting in my studio, wearing black. I’m facing the camera to discuss garter stitch grafting, whilst holding the Toph Hat to demonstrate. Toph is a sideways knit Hat in garter stitch, with all-over deep teal leaves against a rust coloured background. It’s said that I’m an animated teacher and Tom had too many video stills of silly faces to choose from.
This is the 3rd post in my series for ADHD Awareness Month, where I look through the lens of my work to try and raise awareness about ADHD from a different perspective.
My inability to watch a film through to the end without falling asleep or getting bored is an in-joke in our home. Even with knitting in hand, I just can't. Yet I can watch TV episodes back to back; I'll consume an entire mini-series in one sitting.
Why? My #ADHD.
TV episodes can be about 40 minutes long, which means the story may be punchy or quick. But the story is never over after one episode; it's delivered in bite-sized chunks over a series or more, where the characters develop over time. They're a story within a story and new twists may lay ahead.
A film can be twice as long as a TV episode, maybe more. This allows the story teller to explore the characters in more depth in one space, rather than break things up into sections. The story may take an unclear path yet there's always a more clearly defined beginning, middle and end.
These each require different levels of attention. Attention is a problem with ADHD, or rather maintaining focus on one thing can be a problem. Yet it's more than just attention; it's the way the stories are built and the intrigue created.
Let's look at Hat knitting, at construction in particular.
A vertically knit Hat, whether top-down or bottom-up, is a film in this scenario. There's a clearly defined beginning, middle and end - the brim, body and crown are worked consecutively but separately. Once you've knit from the first round to the last the Hat is finished, it's story told. It may twist and turn but it always starts at one end and ends at the other.
Within each row of a sideways knit Hat we knit a little bit of the brim, body and crown; the beginning, middle and end are works in progress. Once you've knit from the first row to the last the story isn't over; more panels need to be worked until the Hat, and it's story, are complete. The next panel can be different from the previous one but it has to continue the story. A sideways knit Hat is a TV series in this scenario, a panel an episode.
Sideways knit Hats are my favourite to design, realising why cemented my love for them.
But here's the thing: no media, Hat construction, or neurotype for that matter, is better than another. They're just different and that needs to be OK.
The photograph shows me, slightly out of focus and wearing black, holding a circular mirror for our model to use. We're preparing for a photoshoot and our model, Aida, can be seen candidly smiling in the mirror. Aida wears the Windward slouch Hat in hand-dyed oil-slick shades.
This is the 2nd post in my series for ADHD Awareness Month, where I look through the lens of my work to try and raise awareness about ADHD from a different perspective.
As mentioned before, only a fraction of folk with ADHD display external hyperactivity, yet the hyperactivity is in everyone with ADHD. It's in our brains.
These uncontrollable thoughts cause us to be distracted, forgetful, lose stuff, be late or whatever other deficit we display when compared to a neurotypical standard. Our brains are literally abuzz with so many trains of thought, giving the 'bees in my head' meme uncanny accuracy.
Like many neurodevelopmental conditions or mental illnesses, ADHD is measured and diagnosed by deficits. Yet it's an unhelpful way to view the condition because it's so much more than what we can't do. It is a disability, we do need accommodations, and I hope to explore those more in other posts. But ADHD comes with upsides that too few of us get to make the most of.
One thing this incessant stream of ideas rewards us with is creative thinking. You might be inclined to say that ADHD folk think outside of the box but it'd be more accurate to say that when it comes to ADHD thinking, there is no box.
ADHD gives us a unique perspective on the world; we experience it differently to non-ADHD folks which can cause a lot of pain and difficulty, yet it can also provide us with insightful solutions. We're brilliant problem solvers, especially when we're allowed to indulge our interests.
We're relentless; we can't help it and our lack of a stop button is often detrimental to our health. Yet if an idea doesn't work there's a million more to explore and we can change track before you've understood the previous plan.
I use techniques out of context in unexpected situations with surprisingly satisfying results. I see Hat construction differently; I don't know how not to see it the way I do. I continually try new things to stave off boredom. This is all my ADHD; my ADHD and me are inseparable.
Having gone undiagnosed for so long my self-confidence was non-existent. But that's slowly changing. For years I've been told to slow down, that there was an accepted way to do things; that no-one would be interested in my off-the-wall ideas. I've finally accepted that I'm not doing things wrong just because doing things differently is my default setting.
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The Windward Hat is sideways knit in DK yarn and was designed and published in 2007, 14 years ago. It received so many positive comments about how off-the-wall and unconventional the style was. There were also people who tried to advise me not to explore this slouchy style because no-one would be interested in wearing them. And yet, how common is this style now?
The photo is a video still and shows me, Woolly, looking engagingly at the camera as I explain an aspect of sideways knit Hats. I’m wearing black, my hennaed hair is worn short with a quiff, and sit in my studio.
October is ADHD Awareness Month and I'm hoping to share a few posts exploring ADHD through my work, from my creative process to pattern writing and more.
I've been formally diagnosed twice with ADHD, first in the UK, then in Italy. Getting diagnosed as an adult is far from easy so getting diagnosed twice is a little unusual. But... my ADHD is off the charts and I present so obviously that it didn't take the specialists long. Which begs the question: why didn't anyone notice before?
My first diagnosis was only 21 months ago, I'm now 50. I'm still unravelling years of masking, shame, trauma and coping mechanisms; I've lived with it all my life but I'm still learning who my ADHD self is. I'm a little hesitant to dive into #ADHDAwarenessMonth yet there's so much of it evident in my work and that feels like a good place to speak from.
Before I get going, here's a few facts:
ADHD is *not* a behavioural disorder or something that can be 'cured' with discipline.
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that shares a lot with Autism, and they're often found together.
ADHD is one of the most researched neurodevelopmental conditions. MRI scans show that our brains are literally different.
We don't have a deficit of attention, we have difficulty with executive function, emotions and regulating focus.
There are 3 types of ADHD - Hyperactive + Impulsive, Inattentive, and Combined.
Only a small percentage of ADHD folks are the externally hyperactive type. The hyperactivity is in all of us, except you can't see it because it's in our brains.
ADHD is genetic and runs in families. It's estimated to have a heritability rate of 75% or more.
It's something we're born with and most of us won't grow out of it. Like most life-long conditions it can change with the various stages of life but it doesn't go away.
The stereotype of young white boys bouncing off the walls has done so much damage. It's the reason so many BIPOC, women and girls go undiagnosed.
ADHD brings it's own flavours of PTSD or Complex PTSD, especially when undiagnosed. It's said that society is incapable of not traumatising folks with ADHD and I'm evidence of that in more ways than one.
ADHD is a recognised disability.
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