Towards the end of last week I started to notice that not only was the anxiety getting out of control, but that I was also getting physically ill with it. It's been many years since it's been this difficult; I'll have periods of consecutive panic attacks, but rarely does it snowball to the point where I get so ill.
Thankfully I'm starting to come out the other side, and realising at the same time how much it's all knocked me out.
I'm having to be very careful with what I eat; the stress really hit that system badly, so it's time to keep an eye on the nutrients and salts. It only occurred to me yesterday that some re-hydration salts might be needed, and a few sachets later I can already feel the difference. Slowly I'm managing to get some sleep, although my sleep patterns are so easily disrupted so this one is going to be the toughest to straighten out. But I know from the state of my head that I'm coming out the other side of it.
This is in part due to post-book stress and the onset of the woolly Hat seasonal madness. But if life-issues weren't hitting at the same time, I wouldn't be getting this ill, and it's those things that are eating at my brain. It's bad timing, and there are some things that are being parked for a while - work projects, life stuff - and some are being parked until next year to give myself a break.
I'm at a point now in my work schedule where I can afford to take a day or two off during the busy season without a backlog building straight up again. Whenever I've managed to work ahead and earn myself some time off, stuff - life - steals it. I'm determined not to let that happen again, so it's selfish Woolly for the foreseeable future.
I've been really struggling to work on new designs since releasing Elemental and honestly, that's probably pretty normal. It hasn't helped with the stress levels though (especially as the MKAL is just around the corner!) and breaking through that fog with the knitting above has been such a help.
The season is on! The MKAL will happen, I'll be travelling around teaching, and we'll get to have our winter holiday.
And next season, I think I'll skip the teaching tours altogether.