I have been awake, but not much.

I have been awake long enough to do some of this,

which then became this.

And I did some of this

And then some of this.

I also managed some of this -

And that's it. Pretty much all I've done in a week. Just to clarify, here's a breakdown of this last week in terms of sleep.

  • Tuesday. BBD*, but stayed awake and had my adventure to AngelKnits. Had fun and a couple of beers.
  • Wednesday. Recovery - spent most of the day asleep.
  • Thursday. Appointment with consultant so awake most of day. May have had an afternoon nap.
  • Friday. Can't remember.
  • Saturday. BBD*. Slept most of day in 5 or 6 hour stints.
  • Sunday. BBD*. Same as saturday. Stayed up late (such a rebel)
  • Monday. Woke after 4 hours sleep, pottered around for a couple of hours. Went back to sleep and was awaken by Tom at around 6pm so we could go to the cinema (btw, 'Pulse' was disappointing)

BBD* - 'Bad Body Day' - refers to the physical side effects of my medication, in particular how it mucks up my digestive system. Such days are normally spent in bed feeling v.crap.

So there you have a typical week. Can you see how frustrating this is? When you also consider that each time I fall asleep I dream vividly, waking life can get a bit surreal. Some days I never manage to fully wake up. Despite all my efforts to fight, control or manage the sleep, I just can't beat it. I want for regular sleep patterns, to be able to wake up and get the most out of a day. To not keep falling asleep so much. Can you imagine how productive I'd be if I could manage a couple of days fully awake? I'd also like to feel well. To not have a constant cold or other lingering minor ailments. To not have the side effects from the medication.

Today I will drink 3 litres of extra strong coffee so that I can manage AngelKnits again tonight. Am bloody well determined to go and I'm taking my spinning wheel with me.

AuthorWoolly Wormhead