No matter what I do or how prepared I am or how much I try and reduce my workload, September to December are bonkers. And utterly exhausting. It's just the busy season, and that's how it is.
This season wasn't helped by not being well and rested as I went in; I'd worked non stop since I had surgery September last year. I had to work that much harder to get business back on track to keep the pennies coming in (turnover last year was down 25%; that was partially due to the EU VAT kicking in at my busiest time, and partially due to less output from me the previous year, which in turn was due life being what it has been). I'm long overdue some down time. A proper holiday is out of the question, we don't have the budget for that! We can't afford for me to take much time off either, so I'll need to take it in dribs and drabs.
What I really want is a quiet Xmas, a few weeks of not talking to anyone or doing anything or going anywhere. But that's not going to happen, as a big family Xmas is planned and we're catching up with everyone, so I'm starting to take my quiet time now, now that things are slowing down. If I can recharge a little before the holiday season I might just get through it without breaking, and hopefully January will permit me to be kinder to myself. To be honest I'm not looking forward to Xmas - it already feels too stressful, and I'm inclined to spend the next couple of weeks pretending it's not happening, rather than allowing it to get to me!
I've been working away on a few garter stitch things, new designs, that are helping me get through it. It's a project I've been working on quietly, with the exception of the few images I've shared on Instagram. I've not spoken out loud about it, as I don't want it to become a thing... if it becomes a thing then it becomes something to fail at. The project is as much for me as anyone else, and I need not to have any pressure or deadlines or even any expectations - those things are suffocating and this needs to be my release, not another ball and chain.
I'm starting to feel ready to talk about it though, now that brain space is freeing up and a few more things are dropping into place and starting to make sense.
In the meantime though, I'll be chugging away at those knit stitches, hoping that keeping my hands busy will keep my mind calm.
ps/ yeah, I bought myself a fish-eye attachment for my wide angle lens. It was about £20+shipping, a fraction of the price of a true fish-eye, and it's fun. Tom's used it more than me, though!