Closing doors
Monday, August 6, 2012 at 7:15AM There's a number of projects in progress, or rather on hold, that I've needed to re-evaluate and draw a line through.
Kitchener Unravelled
Y'know, I think this book project has turned into my nemesis.
It's been 2 or 3 years now since I put this one on hold, as I really haven't had the headspace to work on it. And a few months back I decided I needed to close this one for good. I no longer include Kitchener at the top of my workshop list as I just don't feel the love for it anymore.
Kitchener Unravelled was very much a left-side-of-the-brain project which isn't very healthy, at least not right now - my pattern collections that mix techniques with designs offer more balance which works for me so well. And if I'm honest, I simply don't have the confidence anymore to put out a book solely on Kitchener. There is so much more information available now than there was when I was working on Going Straight (which is where the idea for Kitchener Unravelled came from) and this little indie can't compete with the big boys. Not in the slightest.
It's a shame, as I did so much work for this, spent months researching, paid for illustrations to be done, but it would require so much more investment, financially and emotionally, to get it off the ground again and it's not there to give. It really is best laid to rest. Though I'm still holding onto that title, just incase...
Getting Stranded
This one is still a good idea, but the thought of working on another mammoth book to the scale of Going Straight fills me with dread.
Getting Stranded was intended as 20+ Hats with a twist, all using colourwork in a different way, Wormhead stylee. There's a fair few designs charted out, and maybe this one would work best as a 10 pattern collection, something like 'Stranded Woolly Toppers'? The 10 pattern collections are more of a winner - they're a more manageable project size, and for their investment vs return, they earn relatively better. And so the future will hold more of those, and a stranded topper collection would be a good compromise, no?
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Part of me, the big stick part that likes to repeatedly wack me round the head, is feeling like a failure for not finishing these projects. Even though I decided months back to close these doors it's taken this long to find the balls just to type that I'm conceding. On the other hand, on the (currently rare) occasion when the optimistic side finds it's way through the fog, I'm hoping the pressure will start to dissipate and I'll be able to breathe a little more lightly. There's nothing like letting go of a dead weight that you've been carrying around for too long.
Being honest with myself about what I can realistically cope with (rather than what I'm capable of, which is a whole other thing) is an essential part of self management. Sure, I do feel like a failure for dreaming up grand schemes then failing to see them through, yet at the same time, I'm pretty damn proud of the fact that I'm still here, alive and breathing, and finding the energy to be creative and (mostly) productive despite the best efforts of the black dog.
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We're going to view a bunch of caravans this afternoon - wish us luck that we found something decent, of the right size/layout and watertight within our budget?
Reader Comments (10)
When it just doesn't feel right, it's better to let those projects go. You'll feel better for it. Best of luck in finding your new home!!
Woolly, there is much wisdom in knowing when to walk away from something.
I very well know the pull which says " I spent so much time on it, I can't leave it", but when we face the truth we usually know what the best course of action is.
And remember that nothing is ever truly wasted, because we grow and move forward as a result of the all things we try -those that work out the way we planned, and those that don't.
Sending hugs and wishing you peace in your heart.
X
Good for you ! Such decisions are always a little sad, they have to be. But then, you're free to dream up new projects :-)
Don't throw anything away. I think you've hit a creative wall and burn out. Just put it aside and revisit at a later date. It could be years, but just put it away for awhile.
Honestly, I think it's tremendous growth to recognize when things don't fit for you. With that said, that doesn't mean they never will - just that they don't right now. And moving on to new things where you have the energy to take things further, to create new growth within yourself. Keeping the old and putting in a safe place is always a good bet - you never know when pieces or all of what you did before may come in handy.
It's so wonderful that you're recognizing what is working for you and what is not - especially in a time of upheaval with your house/home/etc situation!
You know, I beat myself up for not doing All The Things. It took me a long time to realise that if I didn't want to knit that cardi, no-one was going to die. I wasn't going to be shunned by the knitting community. Sometimes its very healthy to know what just isn't working and walk away from it.
There is a great deal of wisdom in knowing when to let go. On the other hand, Mercury goes direct Thursday morning August 9th; things may look different then.
Do you know what, that is one of the bravest, wisest posts I've ever read. This amount of self knowledge is hard won, but priceless. Brava.
Please don't beat yourself up about changing your mind about your priorities. People working for others do it all the time as budgets are withdrawn, new priorities come up, new team members arrive or other leave. Its absolutely normal. You work for yourself - this should be one of the joys of doing so - just do what you want to do and have the time to do- why not? you can always revisit it sometime if you want to.
Sara
I was thinking about what you've written and I share your angst when putting aside projects. I was wondering though if those skills could be translated into another project. Your grafting/kitchener knowledge would translate well into one of the Craftsy video tutorials, and that would allow you to share your knowledge and use that work. I know there's a lot more information about grafting out there but I think the Woolly Wormhead brand and approach is unique and people are interested in what you have to say.