Silicea and sleep
Monday, March 21, 2011 at 7:32AM It's a few weeks on since we started our homeopathic remedies for curing our family sleep problems, and there's been noticeable progress.
The remedy Aran has been using is one recommended by the local homeopathic chemist, and is one available over the counter specifically for wee people who wake during the night. He still wakes occasionally, but in general his sleep is greatly improved. The daytime tantrums are still hanging around, but less so, which is a huge relief.
Tom's been working on a mixture of remedies to help with his snoring. This is a trickier area to work out, and personally I think he needs something else to help with the problem, but at least for now, it's not keeping me awake so much.
The best remedy for me seemed to be Silicea. When you consider a variety of other symptoms, this one is about as good as it gets for my type. I am sleeping. Heavily. In fact, it'd be fair to say that my sleep habit has swung to the complete opposite of what it was a month ago, and I'm pretty sure that's my body taking what it needs, rather than some obscure side effect.
Now that I am getting sleep, and plenty of it, other aspects have risen to the surface and aren't prepared to be ignored any longer. Such as the black dog. Given how tough this past winter has been, it's not surprising that the depression has risen again. I was able to admit to myself that it's here some months ago, but I haven't yet been able to come here and say it out loud.
I've been contacted by a few people who feel that things of a personal nature shouldn't be posted to this blog, and that all content should be of a business like nature. Whilst I understand that reading about depression can be, well, depressing, trying to pretend this sort of thing doesn't go on is a pretty unhealthy attitude.
Anyone who lives with recurrent clinical depression knows that to ignore this beast and push it underground only makes it worse. To aid recovery, it needs to be aired and the stigma removed. I've not mentioned it here this cycle because I've been fearful of being judged. And that's both absurd and angering. Trying to add a veneer and pretend that everything is sunny and rosey is not only ill advised, but very difficult to do.
And how do I feel? Right now I feel as if I'm in a small locked room, sitting in a dark corner trying to muster the energy to bang on the walls and rattle the windows in the hope that someone may notice that I'm in there, and that they may notice that something is wrong.
There, it's been said, and already the pressure is lifting, as if I've found the light switch in that tiny locked room. It's a bit like being an alcoholic and going to an AA meeting and standing up and saying out loud that you're an alcoholic. Except it needs to be done each and every time a depressive episode hits.
Thankfully I know why I'm unhappy, and to some extent I know what needs to be done. There needs to be some talking and some scheduling and some breaks. Help is needed, and the Silicea is already aiding sleep. It's also a good remedy for for anxiety and unsettled minds, and I suspect it has helped me say what needs to be said out loud.
And thankfully I also know that this is an illness that comes in cycles or episodes, and that I'm currently in one such cycle right now. It isn't the end of the world and it's a bummer that it'll be around for life, but like every other time, I will get through it. All that's needed is some honesty, a reshuffle of priorities and a little understanding.
Reader Comments (40)
Sending (((((((love, hugs and complete understanding)))))))
Hey Woolly, lots of support coming to you from the other side of the French border.
Dear Woolly, well said. Huge hugs and support to you in this very moment. You took the first step, which is the hardest. By the way, it is YOUR blog, so write exactly what you feel you want to write in it, who cares about judgment! I actually like it because there is not only business in it, but also a hint of real life. All the best to you, Gis :-)
Completely agree with you that ignoring depression is the wrong thing to do. Take care.
Hugs XX
You've got it -- honesty and understanding. The first step in dealing with anything is talking about it, and as you expressed today, just talking about it was a relief. Despite a fair amount of good writing on the subject (Kay Redfield Jamison, for one), most of us are woefully ignorant about anything touching on mental illness. It's an illness, like heart disease, diabetes, and all the other hereditary illnesses that most families have to cope with. My family has dealt with manic-depressive illness for more than fifty years; we now know a lot about it and talk about it openly.
Growing up after WWII, I learned little about anything difficult or unpleasant. Happily, attitudes have changed -- and need to continue to change. Your frankness is refreshing, and just as we delight in hearing about Aran and your peripatetic life, we need to hear that problems do arise and you deal with them. We've certainly shared bouts of cancer with many knitters. We're no longer in the dark ages.Thanks for the light you bring.
I hear you Woolly... lots and lots of love and hugs xxxxx
How awful that people feel they have the right to tell you what you are allowed to blog about. You are a person as well as a business. One of the lovely thing about the internet and the crafting community is that business and individuals CAN be mixed. You know you are buying from a PERSON rather than a remote corporation. That is the beauty of blogging, we see the person, black dog and all. The more people talk about mental health issues the less stigma there is attached to it. You are quite a well known person in the crafting community and by standing up and saying "this is a problem, but I will deal with it, it is not shameful, it just is" means that other people with the same issues, may be less inclined to hide the problem and more inclined to seek help.
I'm so glad you know you will get better, it makes it less traumatic while you are enduring, knowing that "this too will pass".
I read your blog for the personal stuff! Your knitting designs are great but I honestly love the lifestyle, kid, relationship, art, and THE BUS! I have mostly anxiety, the depression comes at the apex when I don't deal with it. Please don't stop talking to us! Even if you decide to do separate blogs. Glad the light is on.
Much love and many big hugs (as many as you need),positive energy and wishes for kindness and gentleness from the world xxxxx
Hi
Just found your blog today - love it !
Surely the personal stuff influences the way you run your business to a great extent and is therefore inextricably linked to your business? If you didn't write about your personal life, you'd be leaving out a huge chunk of what makes you who you are.
Hope you start to feel better soon.
I've been theere; keep talking and ignore those who think this blog is just about business!
<<HUGS>> Share what you want, take comfort from the supportive comments, and blow off the others with a chuckle and a "Who cares - that's their opinion." I'll keep you and your family in my prayers and hope that crack of light gets a littlbe bigger and brighter every day.
I choose to read your blog because of the open & honest way you share what is happening in your life. I've been reading it from some of your earliest posts - a change to a "marketing blog" would lose the essence of Woolly Wormhead and I'd feel I'd lost a friend.
Everything we experience in life impacts on our creativity, no-one can be on stage all the time, we need the dormant time to allow our bodies and brains to regenerate. I've come to recognise that there is a pattern to my down time, often triggered by physical health issues but there are also two specific periods in the year when I feel emotionally very low. At such times I seek solace in my craft and you have played a key part in helping me through this - hats are my knitting of choice at such times as they are achievable, your creative designs make me focus, challenge me to move from the garter stitch rut I slump into. Without you knowing it ,your pattern timing has been impeccable in helping me face the challenges in my life - how can I reciprocate?
Thanks for talking about this openly and honestly! I'm sending positive thoughts your way.
It's interesting, I read many blogs and several of them are going through what you're dealing with - both depression and people saying that they say too much online. Personally, I feel that these things need to be OUT there! It allows others to realize that they aren't alone.
Many hugs and my best for finding it off...
(And homeopathy rocks.)
We'll never get rid of the stigma ssociated with mental heath problems if no-one talks about them, so I'm really glad you are. I've had depression and feeling ashamed of it certainly didn't help with getting better! Thank you for having the courage to be open about it.
Gentle hugs to you, dear one.
Good luck to you and thanks for showing your human side.....those who are unhappy reading your blog should just stop reading and keep their comments to themselves. I applaud your honesty and am sure it is a help in dealing with the depression. I'd much rather deal with a vendor I know is a "complete" person rather than one who is sanitized to a virtual happy face. Life happens...to everyone.
You're allowed to say whatever you want, dear. You're the author. You're the publisher.
Depression does need a good airing. It isn't a weakness or a choice. It's complicated and it's important.
I don't comment often, but I do follow your blog, and felt like commenting on this one. Reading about depression might be depressive, yes, but living a depression is a million times worse, - so keep writing about it if you feel like it. And let's hope it's a short episode this time. Take care!
As a person who suffers from depression and it has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that this is a life long condition, which for me has to be treated with medication. I certainly know how it feels to be in that room, but as you say as long as you open and honest to yourself and if you want to others then in my opinion you do come from through it (I've made great friends through tell people and now have fantastic support network when I need it).
There is such a stigma to depression when there shouldn't be if you had a broken leg, you'd get sympathy and all the help you need, it is only because you can see there is something wrong. Sorry to ramble but I'm sure you know what I mean.
Keep your chin up, think of your partner and son, my two daughters and husband are things that make by life bearable when I'm having an espisode.
Anita
Ignore them - it's your blog and you can write what you want. Plus, as someone who's had depression a couple of times, it's really really really helpful to hear about other people who've been through something similar. You feel so isolated when it's happening to you, and finding other wonderful creative people out there who know what you're going through really helped me.
I admire and appreciate your honesty. It is really sad that we still live in a world where there is so much stigma regarding mental health issues that people think it's okay to tell you what to write. Even though I work in the mental health field I'm constantly amazed by the attitudes and prejudices of my fellow employees. I'm glad that you are finding and using what works for you even if that means putting it out in the public forum of your blog. Life can be difficult and even more so when you have mental health issues that we have to use whatever options are available.
Thanks for the info on sleep remedies; that will come in handy for me as a mom and for myself. After my beloved husband's death, I endured months of sleeping problems. I will file away this info for the next "bout" with them.
I have never experienced clinical depression. I do know that all mental health issues, be they illnesses or life-changing experiences like grief, do better when given a bit of light and air if you take my meaning. Good for you for helping to raise awareness and for doing the hard work of taking care of yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am glad you are dealing with the depression - please do not ignore. The sleep problem could very well be part of the cycle. Good luck to you and do not hestitate into looking to medication- may be what your body needs.
AnaMaria
I'm with the others here.
Talk about the depression all you want.
Hope you begin to feel a little better soon.
I love when you write about Aran and Tom and the bus. I hope you never stop! I love the knitting designing posts too, Please don't stop those either! Thank you for speaking out about depression. I do hope that someday it will be spoken about without fear of criticism and "the looks". It's important that people learn to understand depression. Big hug for you, Woolly! Feel better soon.
Sending you lots of love and hugs...
S xXx
please keep talking about your feelings of depression...we need to bring it out in the open so that no one feels any shame about it. talking, helping, knowing, learning.....take good care of yourself and find what you need. as far as i'm concerned you may talk about this or anything else you want on your blog. i read it because i think you are interesting, funny, intelligent, and an amazing knitter. let us know how you are.
It's your blog, write what you like! If others don't like it - they don't have to read it.
Unfortunately people will judge - the thing is to learn to ignore them. Be true to your own values, you know what is right and wrong.
Hang on in there - talk as much as you like whenever you like - sweeping stuff under the carpet and pretending it's not happening is never good - stuff has to be faced up to, discussed and dealt with.
Oh and your bus - I spend the worst ever two nights of my life in that thing (or its identical sister) at a music festival a couple of years ago - but that's another story :) You've done amazing things with it!
Woolly, we're so grateful to have you in our lives. Please make yourself top priority and take time for EXTREME self care. You deserve it. We're right here by your side, with sharp needles for anyone who hassles you :)
Diane
Take care of yourself Woolly.
I really appreciate your honesty and bringing this out in the open. There is such a stigma around depression and other mental illnesses and I long for the day where that is no longer the case. I have depression and bipolar disorder and it's not something that most people are willing to hear. I have lost relationships due to my conditions and whilst they have a big impact on my life, they aren't all that I am. I think the more people who stand up and talk about these matters, the easier it will be for those scared to speak or scared to listen.
Good on you, Woolly, you are an inspiration.
I enjoy your blog and designs very much. As stated by others it is your blog and you can write what you want.
Also for Tom's snoring I would recommend a nonmedicinal product called Breath Ease here in Canada. Coming from a snoring family I would highly recommend it.
Love your patterns and designs.
Denise
gosh, i am always amazed that people feel they have the right to tell any blogger what you can and can't blog about. write about what you want and i'll read if i am interested or i won't if i am not. and personally i think you are brave to write about your depression as there is still a stigma about depression, etc. more power to you for doing what you need to do. i will have to suggest silicea to a friend of mine that suffers from bipolar.
If it makes you feel better, keep writing! If blogs were confined to "business" matters, I wouldn't read them........Take care of yourself.
Personal experience has proven that the person with depression is a warrior who wakes up everyday and fights the dragon, again and again and again. This challenge requires a level of personal courage and perseverence others do not understand. Please know that you are not alone. Write what you want on your blog. I love reading it.
So sorry you are unwell and I hope you feel better very soon. I too suffer, though o.k at the mo. Unfortunately my daughter is unwell too and the anxiety and sleep problem is very much in the fore. I am very interested in the Silicea, can it be used alongside tricyclic ant-depressants, do you know? Kind regards