It feels like forever that I've been battling this particular design, even though it probably only is a week or two.
Even though I know exactly how I want the body to look, have all my measurements and swatches and dimensions, it's just not coming together. The brim just isn't right and how the colours relate to each other is all wrong too. So I'm shelving it, there's no point in pushing something that isn't working.
Right now, I'm struggling to get excited about any new designs; I'll pick up my needles to work something through, try it, and nearly every time I put it back down again. It would seem that my design mojo has gone on a bit of a holiday.
It feels kinda strange, and a little bit worrying, too.
The last breakdown I had changed the course of my life completely. I was a full time Art and Textiles teacher, and the burn out was so bad that teaching could never be a large part of my job again. I love teaching occasional workshops, and that's how I want to keep it. Things haven't been as bad this time, and having been through it more than once, I could see what was happening and put a few safety nets in place. I know that pushing myself when my mojo is down will only result in me loathing the designing, so it's best to go with the flow, not try and force it.
Enter some spirals.
I can remember telling myself, and telling friends, that I was planning to make some freeform and spiral Hats again once I'd finished Going Straight. That was 4 years ago, at least.
It's wonderful to be playing with these again. I've missed the freedom, muchly. And this one is coming along nicely - can't say yet whether it will have the same magic as previous creations, as it has been a few years and I am a little rusty. But it's oh so good to be playing with yarn again, and not having to document everything I do.
That's not to say that designing Hats, and publishing designs has ceased. On the contrary, the Mystery KAL is all set for November, there's a bunch fresh designs all due for publication soon and there's one or two that are awaiting tech editing and modelling, all set for release over the coming months. Once these are all done, the pressure is off. There'll be no deadlines for a while, no commitments, until I'm well enough. Then, I plan to restructure my business so that I run it, not the other way round, and the new schedule will include some time for me, as well as proper family time.
Or at least, that's the plan.