This pregnancy has got a lot to answer for.
Not only has it forced me to give up my favourite poisons (which really is no bad thing) but it's also got my sleeping patterns up the creek. Gone, it seems , are the days of late nights followed by late mornings. I've never been a morning person. Anyone who's ever encountered me after a forcible pre 10am wake will vouch for this. It's unnatural.
For the last couple of months Baba has had me feeling sleepy come 8pm, waking during the night for loo visits, then waking around 6.47 (+/- 10 mins) every morning. It's just not on. I'm mourning our weekend lay ins as it is, being as we're working so damn hard on the bus, so this current pattern is bothering me.
Add to that the reduction in thinking capability, boobs that won't stop growing (I'd always been happy being on the small side. These things are verging on the offensive) peculiar munchies (mine have mostly been healthy, which is odd enough in itself) and it's not surprising the experience so far is an interesting one, to say the least.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not regretting this at all. I might have grown up adamant that I was never getting married and never having kids, but that does mean that this decision wasn't made lightly. What changed my mind? Couldn't say for sure. Age, possibly (body clocks are also a law unto themselves) Perhaps it was the feeling that I've done sufficient with my life so far, that my independence is deep rooted enough to survive intact and that maybe, I've learnt and experienced enough to feel I've got something of value to pass on. It freaked me out as a kid when the other girls at school had already planned their lives around the type of wedding they would have and how many kids they wanted. Weirdo's.
Regular visitors to this 'ere blog don't need telling that this child of ours will fit into our lifestyle, and not the other way around. Sure, we'll be doting parents but we won't forget who we are. Unfortunately though, there are people whom I've encountered in the real world that don't get this. A typical conversation with one of these people goes a bit like this.....
person:- "Congratulations on your pregnancy!"
me:- "thanks :) "
person:- " so what about your bus and travel plans?"
me:- "what about them?"
person:- "well, you need to think about the baby, so what will you do instead?"
me:- "er, we're still going?"
me:-"just because we're having a kid doesn't mean we'll give up everything - what would be the point in that?"
person:- confused silence.....
End of conversation. I don't see the point in trying to explain to someone who just doesn't get it. Fortunately we've met enough people who have wished us luck, yet then go on to ask what will happen when we out grow the bus - to which I say we'll just get a bigger bus.
Our lifestyle (when we leave this place!) will mean that we won't have to work a 9 to 5 just to put food on the table and pay the rent. We'll be virtually self sufficient and have far more time to spend nurturing a kid. Money won't have to go as far, and we won't let money rule our lives. We'll still need it, and we'll earn it through our skills with something we enjoy. It won't matter that the 'wage' for being a knitwear designer or sculpture builder is crap because it will be enough. It will be hard work, but we'll be happy. We'll have a vast array of useful, interesting and practical skills to pass on. They'll experience different cultures and attitudes, and a fair few different countries whilst still being stable within the family unit. What more could a parent do for their kid?
Baba might be ruling the roost now, but it won't always be this way and so I forgive the lack of sleep and not being able to get into my favourite jeans. I haven't gotten to this grand age by letting people dictate what I do, and I'm confident that that will never change. I will have my lay-ins back.
Now I need to find something pregnancy-friendly to help induce sleep so I can continue working on the book tomorrow.